


i want you (baby it's all i do)

by VibrantVenus



Series: my favorite fics i've written [6]
Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, But only for a bit, Children, F/F, Kid Fic, Parenthood, Possessive Behavior, Pre-Season/Series 02, Single Parents, Wishbabies, cooks by still woozy, title is from a song
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:07:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23538859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VibrantVenus/pseuds/VibrantVenus
Summary: Eve thinks,hopes, she's hallucinating when she opens the door.The baby is still there when she opens her eyes.
Relationships: Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Series: my favorite fics i've written [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2183229
Comments: 25
Kudos: 91





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [With a Crown of Stars](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12335052) by [thehoyden](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehoyden/pseuds/thehoyden). 



Eve's alone when she finds the baby. She's preparing to leave, coat buttoned, scarf wrapped around her throat. She opens the door and-

It's common knowledge that wish babies generally come without warning. 

Still.

Eve thinks- _hopes_ she's hallucinating when she opens the door and finds a baby on her welcome mat.

The baby is still there when she opens her eyes, so she thinks, _'okay'_ and bends down to grab the basket. She places the basket on the table, and then calls in for work. She's sure she knows the names that will be on the plaque. She still checks, just to be sure.

She's wrong.

Where Niko's name should be is a different name. It sets a cold scared little thing squirming in her stomach because-

_Oksana Astankova._

She moves the blanket, just enough to see the finest wisps of dark blonde hair.

Then, she goes to the bathroom and throws up.

Babies don't just appear out of thin air, she thinks, swallowing down bile. She washes her mouth out, and tries not to think about the fact that she and Villanelle had, apparently, very desperately wanted a baby together.

She sits down at the table, and stares. The baby won't wake up until she touches it, so she takes all the time she needs to somehow come to terms with everything.

Finally she works up the nerve to scoop the baby up and-

_Oh._

Dark, sleepy eyes stare up at her, and Eve is almost horrified to feel the tears rolling down her cheeks. On the one hand it's just-she'd always kind of wanted children, but there'd never been _time_ , and now she has a baby and she's just-

She's terrified. Because she has this baby, already loves this baby. And there's a frightened part of her that hopes Villanelle wants this baby too.

She calls Carolyn.

As soon as the call picks up the words spill out of her mouth, a waterfall gushing out from between her lips and she almost doesn't hear Carolyn tell her that she was on her way.

She's still cradling the baby when she hears the doorbell, and she-very carefully, makes her way to the door. Carolyn is standing there, plastic bag in hand. She doesn't hesitate to come inside, putting the bag on the table, taking out a container of baby formula, a package of diapers, a single bottle. She settles down in a char, and then she stares at Eve. 

She sits down, trying to find the words.

"I didn't mean to."

It feels like an admission of guilt, the words sour on her tongue, and she curls in on herself the slightest bit when Carolyn says, "I know you didn't. That doesn't change the fact that you did." 

Eve swallows, "I don't know what to do."

Carolyn leans forward, hands clasped, "Well, have you checked the baby's gender? Have you named them? Have you told your husband?" 

Eve hasn't. She starts by very carefully unwrapping her baby from it's blanket, the child is content, quietly staring up at her as Eve checks under the small tunic wishbabies came in. 

"It's a girl."

Carolyn smiles, "Alright, now what will you name her?"

There's a brief pause, before Eve replies, "Lillian, maybe? It's a name I've always liked..."

Carolyn nods, reaching out for the child, "Now, I think you need to call your husband.'

Eve nods, quietly passing the baby-her baby over as she heads for the other room, anxiety coiling in her stomach.

The first time she calls, Niko doesn't pick up, three rings into the second, though, Eve here's her husband's voice.

She's hesitant at first, trying to lay the words down gently, to _explain_ that somehow Eve had wanted a baby so badly that she'd gotten one, but it wasn't his, and that it really wasn't as bad as she made it sound.

He's quiet for a good long moment, likely thinking about everything that had happened in the last few months-everything he didn't know and-

"We can talk about this when I get home. I'll see you later."

And then he hangs up. Eve tries, genuinely tries, to remain hopeful.

Carolyn is feeding the baby-Lillian when she comes back into the room, when she sits down at the table, hands fisted in her hair.

She's quiet for a long time, watching Lillian finish her bottle, the careful way Carolyn handles her child.

"You know, Kenny was also a wish baby."

For a moment, Eve isn't sure how to reply. 

"Really?"

Carolyn nods, a softer smile then Eve's ever seen on her, gracing her lips.

"I was much younger then, married, just as terrified as you, just as horrified at the reaction I would get."

The phrasing almost doesn't make sense at first, something about the way it was _said._

Eve's eyes widen, "Was Kenny's father...not his father?"

Carolyn laughs, "Well, sure he was his father, in that he raised him, and loved him. But biologically? No."

"Then who- Konstantin?"

The laugh is louder this time, "Yes."

Eve's world is shattered in a way she hadn't expected. She'll never be able to look at Konstantin the same way again. The clock chimes just once, causing Carolyn to stand with a quiet puff. 

"Well, I must be on my way, goodbye Eve."

She hands the child over, leaving as quickly as she'd come, and soon Eve is alone with the baby. Eve settles the sleeping baby back in the basket she came from, moving to the sink to clean the used bottle.

She isn't sure what to do, how to move forward, but she still finds herself ultimately comforted by her time with Carolyn.

Maybe-just maybe things will be okay.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ  
> sorry it took a while to get this chapter out, it was mostly finished a while ago but i was pretty unmotivated to work on it. Also, not pointing fingers at anyone directly, bc i get this sort of comment often, but please don't leave a comment that just amounts to 'Please update' it just feels a little dehumanizing, and makes me not want to write. And if you've left comments like this before, I'm not mad at you, just keep in mind that it's just frustrating, esp bc i so rarely get comments as it is.  
> I will be deleting those comments, bc it's frustrating, and sometimes even upsetting. Again, not your fault, just letting you guys know.
> 
> Sorry the chapter was so short i just wanted to move the plot on. Especially since there's going to be a longer break while i rewatch season 2 and catch up with season 3.

Niko ends up wanting a divorce. It's not even entirely surprising, yet Eve still feels the arguments gathering beneath her tongue.

He stops her before she can start, "No Eve, it's not-" he shakes his head, "this was just...my breaking point. It's not even really your fault I just feel like..." He pauses, searching for the right words, "We haven't been...in love for a long time. We married young, and we stayed together because it was convenient, because it was safe. Are you happy living like this?" 

Eve swallows, thinking deeply. Knowing he's right, not wanting to admit it. Admitting it feels like defeat, like giving up. She does love Niko, she knows she does but...

But he's right.

Fuck.

"Will you at least..stay for a bit to help me with Lily? Just until I have everything I need?"

There's the beginning of a smile on his lips, a sad look in his eyes.

"Of course, Eve."

She doesn't let loose the sigh of relief coiling in her chest. 

There's a part of him that wants to be angry when he sees the baby in the basket. The pair of engraved names that very clearly aren't his. He wants to be mad, to be enraged that his marriage has so easily fallen apart. 

But he's just...scared. If he's right, then that other name, the strange, foreign name that so easily rolls off his wife's tongue, is that of the woman that Eve had been hunting for most of her career. And that scares the shit out of him. Even if he didn't love Eve romantically, didn't feel that burning passion in his chest, she was still his friend. He had a right to be concerned. A right to know that she would be safe, that she wouldn't be hurt by some hurricane of a woman.

But he can't do anything, can't protect her. He can only be there for her, can only hope that they'll make it out of this as friends. That both of them survive this.

The baby is a small, delicate thing in his arms. Soft downy hair and warm skin, the tiny pulse fluttering beneath his fingers. The baby is asleep, had only briefly opened tired eyes when he'd scooped her up. Eve is off, hunting down anything and everything she could think of that the child would need. But for now, it's just him, and the child, and the stifling silence of the house around him.

He'd never really been interested in children. It wasn't a big serious thing, he'd just...never wanted them. 

Maybe at the beginning, when they'd been young, at the beginning of their marriage, when they'd been young and silly, and so in love it was startling?

But now? Now that he's holding a child in his hands, a child that only a few years ago could have been his? 

It feels a little like hope.

Eve is almost startled by how tiny the clothing is. She's staring blankly at the soft fabric in her hands, trying to decide if she should go a size higher, when a young woman taps her shoulder. 

"Do you need some help?"

Eve turned, looking at the tired sales clerk, "No, I'm okay."

The clerk nods, heading to a different part of the store to assist someone else.

It is an odd feeling. Realistically, she probably did need help, but it felt like- like to even speak one word of her situation would tear the entire story from her gut. Her mouth a dam preventing her words from gushing out.

She buys the clothes in two different sizes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyways niko doesnt suck i just dont particularly like him in canon, but he's not??? awful?? he just suffers from boring bitch disease and i didnt think that was any reason to kill him off again like i did in my other villaneve fic. so he gets to live and he might pop up from time to time bc even though i don't like him and eve being together romantically, i do think they have potential for a really great friendship??? idk.
> 
> again, sorry the chapter is shorter, i just felt like it was a good place to stop.

**Author's Note:**

> for the longest time I thought konstantin was kenny's father??? and then i ggoled it and it was like "kenny 's father is dead" and i went "Oh shit" anyways konstantin is like....kenny's biological wishbaby father, but the other unnamed guy is like, his actual father bc he raised him.


End file.
